mar. 4th, '24 — removed dream journal and tech page due to inactive use. considering remodeling the site again for more simplicity.

feb. 11, '24 — finally wrote something for my writing page [gasp]. updated music obsession.

feb. 10, '24 — new art added to the digital art page. new journal entries. created the dream journal page.

feb. 9, '24 — new journal entry. created the 'tech' page, which i may or may not keep up.

feb. 7, '24 — new journal entry. updated writing page.

feb. 5, '24 — new journal entry. updated the art page and astrology page.

feb. 3, '24 — added a disclaimer for the bookshelf page and credit for the lace borders cuz i forgot.

feb. 2, '24 — bookshelf page created. new astrology entry. updated current music obsession. small tweaks on other pages.

jan. 28, '24 — new journal entry.

jan. 27, '24 — updated the shrine page, which is still a WIP. new journal entry.

jan. 26, '24 — created the astrology page.

jan. 25, '24 — updated the music page and the about page.

jan. 24, '24 — added a music page that got a bit verbose. 🗿 i ain't taking it down tho. oh, and new journal entry, fixed the 'before you enter' page, and added mobile adaptability.

jan. 22, '24 — version 2.0 launched. super happy for what i did, took the whole weekend to build it.

thank you to Simon @ Solaria for the lace borders and tutorial.

current music obsession

last edited: february 4th, 2024

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me being normal (not clickbate)

february 11th, 2024 @ 7:33 pm

currently listening to: Rift by Northlane

I woke up late today. I slept in again because I wanted to keep dreaming. I don't rememebr a lot about it, other than I've had a similar dream in the past, and I was kinda like Indiana Jones or Lara Croft exploring this giant monument. It was pretty fun. Then Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson showed up and stole the show. I hate everything he's in (except for Moana, it's a good movie), so I woke myself up and got on with my day.

My dad got take-out tonight because tonight's the SuperBowl. I'm not into football at all. Or any sport really, except for MMA. I love MMA. If you, for whatever reason, skimmed the fan fiction I had linked on my writing page before I redid it again, you'd see how much I love MMA, since it's an MMA AU. Wrestling is a close second, but I haven't watched wrestling since I was a kid. I'd be down to watch it though, if and when I remember to. I don't keep up with anything lol. Not even MMA most of the time. Only when it's recommended to me.

Speaking of recomendations, I disabled the ability for YouTube to keep track of my watch history. Turning it off turns off your whole homepage, so YouTube can't recommend any videos or shorts to you. (I also have a browser extension that blocks shorts becuase i fucking hate youtube shorts.) I've deleted most of my social media aside from my art accounts on Instagram and TikTok. I don't play video games pretty much at all unless the desire is too strong, or when freinds ask to play. I don't really watch TV or movies as often as I used to. Because I have even more free time now that I've cut out all of these things for the most part, I got really addicted to YouTube. But YouTube isn't what it used to be and for the past like year or two, it's been such a pain to use. Shit video after shit video. I hate feeling like my brain is rotting and sometimes just looking at thumbnails or titles of videos I don't want to watch makes me feel like that. Now, the only thing I'm hooked on is my Spotify for music, but I don't think I can live without it tbh. I need my music!!!!

Even tho The Rock showing up in my dream irritated me, I'm actually pretty zen today. Like I feel so peaceful and grounded, it's great today. I think it's going to rain, too, which I'm excited about because I love the rain. The air is cool right now, but not chilly yet, so I have my window wide open to let all the fresh air in. It would probably be better if I lived somewhere rural instead of the city, because the only thing outside my window is a parking lot and other apartment buildings.

I was revisiting my solar return chart again because I realized I kind of skimmed over a very important part of my analysis, which I don't know how??? I forgot to talk about it????? But basically, my Solar Return chart has an Aries Rising, with Mars in the 12th house. I still stand by what I said that this year will be a year of isolation and self reflection to an even deeper degree. the 12th house can also be about imprissonment or confinement, but considering I am not a criminal and barely leave my house to begin with, I doubt it will be anything drastic. Mars worries me because it is the most malefic planet in my chart, but since Mars in this solar return chart is not in any aspect to any other planet, i think I'm good both on the imprissonment possibility or the drastic mental health possibility. (But of course, things can change at any time since solar returns are just a broad yearly overview.)

However, even though I think my 2024 Solar Return will be a year of isolation and self-reflection, I think I massively overlooked the importance of the Aries rising being conjunct Mercury, which shows writing or communication being of great importance related to identity, and the sun being in Aries, too, since it falls in the 1st house, which is incredibly important. Having the sun in the 1st house shows greater importance on the self and ego. The sun is also what you strive to be. I think, even though I will spend a lot of time alone, I can't overlook the value in actually showing more of myself. Getting out of my comfort zone, my shell, and actually interacting with people and the world.

I think I'm going to keep site comments on for this reason. I'm getting better at discerning what is a paranoid thought and what is a normal thought. I think I'll always struggle with my paranoia and my distrust in people, so I need to constantly remind myself that it's almost never what it seems. No one is out to get me and life is good.

I think the writing club will be good for me, too. Having an excuse to interact with people more instead of feeling like I'm intruding upon someone's space. I'm still always going to be very shy and reserved, which I think makes me come across as a bitch, or intimidating at the very least, but I hate those percepions of me when I feel like it doesn't reflect me at all. I've been told so many times I'm intimidating lol I don't see it. I promise I'm nice!!!

Also, I want to continue the shit I do where I talk about stuff I learn every day or every other day. And I want to practice gratefulness this year, too. I hate talkign negatively sometimes, about myself and the world, because it can get too much after a while. I want to be more positive this year. It's only February, so I think it's not too late for a New Year's resolution, right?

That's it I think. I'm going to watch the Super Bowl with my parents now. I'm mostly waiting around for the half-time show. I think most people do anyway, those that aren't super into sports.

Have a good night, y'all. I'll probably pop back in later if I have anything else to share. I'm going to paint again tonight, so maybe I'll share more WIPs.