mar. 4th, '24 — removed dream journal and tech page due to inactive use. considering remodeling the site again for more simplicity.

feb. 11, '24 — finally wrote something for my writing page [gasp]. updated music obsession.

feb. 10, '24 — new art added to the digital art page. new journal entries. created the dream journal page.

feb. 9, '24 — new journal entry. created the 'tech' page, which i may or may not keep up.

feb. 7, '24 — new journal entry. updated writing page.

feb. 5, '24 — new journal entry. updated the art page and astrology page.

feb. 3, '24 — added a disclaimer for the bookshelf page and credit for the lace borders cuz i forgot.

feb. 2, '24 — bookshelf page created. new astrology entry. updated current music obsession. small tweaks on other pages.

jan. 28, '24 — new journal entry.

jan. 27, '24 — updated the shrine page, which is still a WIP. new journal entry.

jan. 26, '24 — created the astrology page.

jan. 25, '24 — updated the music page and the about page.

jan. 24, '24 — added a music page that got a bit verbose. 🗿 i ain't taking it down tho. oh, and new journal entry, fixed the 'before you enter' page, and added mobile adaptability.

jan. 22, '24 — version 2.0 launched. super happy for what i did, took the whole weekend to build it.

thank you to Simon @ Solaria for the lace borders and tutorial.

current music obsession

last edited: february 4th, 2024

Go Back

rambling about art + WIP

february 14th, 2024 @ 1:30 am

currently listening to: GMFU by Odetari feat. 6earlyhuman

i've wrecked my sleep schedule again but it's worth it for the grind. i've been taking my time with rendering. one of my favourite things about creating art is finally adding a light source and rendering shadows. it makes everything feel so alive and it never fails to make me feel like, good about myself.

i hate having a big ego, but i've been thinking a lot about my self-loathing and self-esteem as a whole. i was talking to my friend from France who also struggles with the same issues I do. I think he's one of the only people that can actually see me, despite his own biases since we're polar opposites. focusing so much on my own negatity is really unhealthy, and i'm still learning how to be nicer to myself. i think this is why i like art so much. i've thought about quitting so many times because of how hard i am on myself, and the nasty cycle of having terrible mental health making me regress in my artistic ability, which impacts my mental health, which impacts my skills. repeat, over and over again. but when i finally get into the flow like i am now (im taking a mini break rn cuz poo posture) i can't helpo but feel like im on top of the world. like i'm really that skilled and it's all mine, no one else can take credit for my abilities.

sometimes i feel like i just say shit here and it makes no sense after a day or two to me, but i really hope that makes sense lmfao. i'm just in a good mood tonight/this morning. sometimes when things don't work out, like if im sketching or can't seem to figure out problems in any part of the process, i take it so personally.

i didn't start "taking art seriously" until i was like 15 when I was gifted my first drawing tablet for christmas. it meant the world to me, and still does because of the context behind it, but i'll spare the story for the sake of brevity. i still have that tablet to this day and it works well. but, because of how unstable my living siuations have been during that time, from like 15-18, then my shitty mental health from like 20-now, i feel like my progress has simutaniously been incredibly fast but also incredibly slow. i used to see kids younger than me with way more skill and it would feel like a gut punch. but now i don't care. i still kind of wish my skills are better than they are now. i don't think im nearly as close to being as skilled and talented as the artists i have on my art page. they're masters at their craft.

i'm just happy i didn't give up all those times i thought i should've.

anyway here is another WIP. I'm not even close to being done lol. (DONT LOOK AT THE HANDS PLEASE IM NOT DONEEE THEY LOOK SO WEIRD)

another work in progress painting screenshot of my OC, Isaac, running and smiling, with a ocean themed mural behind him.