Go Back

September 11 2024

this vacation sucks pt. 2

my cold has gotten a little bit better. the money my mom sent me came in with no issues, which is good. but i feel like i cant concentrate on anything because of my cold. apparently it costs $30 to rent two chairs at the beach and i got so embarassed for sitting in one and getting told i couldn't, that i just left the beach all together and we stayed inside most of the day.

bf is currently gone working out in the gym, and i managed to convince him to go without me so i can finally have some alone time to think, read. i can't even read cuz my head is foggy and my nose keeps running. i can't wait to drive back to his apartment, then fly home once i'm ready to. my intuition was somewhat right about the whole not wanting to fly over. if i'm in his place, it's fine. but we really shouldn't have come here. i just missed the beach and the waves but idk, it's not as amazing like it felt 3 years ago, but to be fair 3 years ago i was suffering from psychosis and suicidal ideation so really any break from my family would've felt amazing.

just one more day left then we're outta here. it'll be nice to be back in his bed for once instead of this hotel room, even if we did get a nice view. it's dark right now, pitch black, can't see shit. i wanna write, but i seem to be suffering from a big of a block. wanna read, can't cuz of brain fog. can't even text my friends cuz i can't stand looking at my screen for too long.

there really isn't shit to do here aside from swim in the ocean or shop. i'm not a person that enjoys doing much like touristy shit. it seems boring and pointless. i feel so bad cuz i feel like im the worst person to go on vacation with. i'm too much of a homebody for this shit, i just wanted to swim in the sea.

i need more tissues for my nose. goodbye internet.